happy mother's day

my mom was always religious, sometimes intensely so. given that, she was a big proponent of prayer and often encouraged me to pray for my birth mother on occasions such as my birthday and of course, mother's day.

i wasn't ever sure what i was supposed to pray for, and found it kinda odd that my mom thought it necessary to remind me of my birth mother. her existence and my adopted status may have never been a big issue, but it was never forgotten. not for a single moment.

of course i think of my birth mother on mother's day, and i imagine her thinking of me. i wonder who she's told - her husband, if she's married, her friends...certainly her parents remember, i would imagine. what does SHE feel on mother's day?

me, i feel nothing but blessed. blessed to have had a mother growing up; blessed to have a birth mother who sought a better life for me, blessed to have so many women in my life who are mother-figures, "other mothers" so to speak.

sharon's mom, who tears up when she reminds me to keep in touch. who fed me and housed me and drove me all over birmingham when my own mom couldn't.

my aunt ginny, my true other mother, my co-conspirator, my partner in crime and fart jokes. oy, she nags, but she nags because she loves.

janice, my semi-stepmom. my fellow drinker, shopper and light verbal sparring partner. a truly remarkable woman and perfect match for my father.

all of these women have touched and shaped my lives in various ways at different times. for all of these women i am thankful. because of these women, i am the person who types this today.

and mom, i miss you. i miss what we never had, what could have been, what actually was. all of it, the good and the bad, the fights and the hurt feelings and the tears, the sickness and tension - i wouldn't change it. you were a strange lady who sometimes drove me to the brink, but you were there. you were my mother. you chose me.

CLM, you're out there somewhere, perhaps thinking of me at this very moment! i don't miss you because i never knew you. but i think i want to know you....i'll be seeing you, i'm sure.

to all my mamas, to all mamas everywhere: happy mother's day.